Even When I Lose, I Win
If you know me, you know one of my favorite TV shows is Supernatural (#teamfreewill). Ok let’s be real, MY FAVORITE TV SHOW IS SUPERNATURAL. And one of my favorite character’s was the King of Hell (at the time) Crowley. Sadly he was killed off in Season 12 but not before saying something that has since become my mantra, “Even when I lose, I win”.
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For me, this has been especially profound over the last six months. I’ve experienced a ton of change and some of it was great; some of it was not so great. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. What I’ve come to realize is that life throws curveballs and while most of the time it’s simple things like a traffic jam on the way to work that causes you to be late, sometimes it’s pretty heavy stuff.
For the new year, one of my goals was to be more positive in the face of adversity. When I’m faced with one of these curveballs, I try to think about how I can rise above whatever obstacle is facing me. Essentially I have two choices: 1) I can wallow in the misery (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.), OR I can turn it into something amazing.
Last year, I was at a fork in the road with my job. I was underpaid, under appreciated and VERY unhappy. Yet because I was comfortable, I wasn’t really doing anything about it. And then one day, a chain of events spanning over a year led up to me having to leave my job of 14 years. I was terrified, but excited and FULL of anxiety. I doubted myself and first and even though people kept telling me, “this is THE BEST thing to ever happen to you”, I struggled to believe it.
Fast forward to today and after getting over my fears and working toward doing the things I WANT TO DO I can honestly say that I’m in a much better place than I was. I was truly on the verge of a nervous breakdown and now I’m calmer, clearer and wiser. I realize that I can’t FEEL appreciated by others until I appreciate myself and I need to stop allowing people to take and take and take. I will not let ANYONE deflate me again and I will place a higher value on myself than I did in the past because I deserve it. I realize that I am enough and everything I want and need is within my reach.
Even when I lose, I win.